Here’s Why Your Relationship With Yourself Is The Most Important Thing

Zaid K. Dahhaj
5 min readMar 29, 2018

The better you know yourself, the better your relationship with the rest of the world.” (Toni Collette)


Good relationships are the foundation for success in all areas of your life.

This begins with your relationship with yourself. If you do not love yourself entirely and actively ensure your own needs are met, you will find it difficult to do the same for others.

Know this: however you treat yourself is how you will treat others. This is why, ironically, the most selfless thing you can do is to be self-centered (albiet not selfish).

Once you love and accept all aspects of yourself completely and treat yourself that way, once you become grounded and centered in your being, serving and empowering others will come naturally.

Imagining and looking back it yourself from the end of your life, ask yourself right now, “How well did I love myself? Was I my own best friend? Was I completely honest with myself?”

You see, it is easy — without realizing it — to neglect the one person in your life who is your partner in everything that you do and are: you.

Practicing self love not only involves making sure your needs are met; it also means not subjecting yourself to environments, perspectives, relationships, and other commitments that disempower you.

Don’t worry so much about being rude. It is more detrimental to both yourself and the other person to keep commitments that you are unable to uphold, then it is to cut the tie and be free, if you feel you’re being anchored down.

Ask yourself: “What kinds of people did I surround myself with? Who supported me in fulfilling my destiny, and how did I support others in realizing theirs?”

In life, you can either unconditionally accept the relationships that are handed to you, or you can create connections that you find mutually fulfilling.

Ask yourself: “If I could do it over again, what values what I look for in a friend, life partner, mentor, and business partner? What kind of brother, sister, son, husband, wife, father, mother, friend, teacher, and student what I have been?”

Zaid K. Dahhaj

Sleep King. Helping family men fix fatigue in less than 42 days without letting loved ones suffer. Founder: The 2AM Podcast.